‘Troubled’ Teens or ‘Troubled’ Parents?

Adolescence is always an uneasy period both for the family and the child entering this age. The teens are often called “troubled”, but is it the child who is troubled? To understand this problem better let’s stop calling teens “troubled”, it’s better to say “we have some difficulties”. The main point is that parents often have more difficulties than their child. That means that the parents are those who are “troubled”. The parents in most cases need more help to understand their responsibility in the appearance of the problems with their child and to find the best way to cope with them. It’s not a rare situation when their teenage child is absolutely normal and his impudent behavior is a silent shout: “Notice me! I’m longing for your attention!” The material well-being is not so important than your sincere and open attitude towards your kid, as the leading type of activity in the period of adolescence is communication.

Adolescence is the transitive period from childhood to adulthood. And the teenager “tries on” the life of the grown-ups surrounding him or her. And if the situation becomes uncontrollable that means that you’re doing something wrong. And the difficulties that may appear during this period of “try-on” are likely to become an obstacle in the the tree most widespread occasions.

  • When the model of behavior offered to a teen doesn’t suit for the one who only starts getting mature.

Ask yourself a simple question: “What is my child interested in?”. Understanding your kind’s needs and finding a possibility to listen to his problems will improve your mutual trust.

  • When your communication with your teenage son or daughter doesn’t comply with their personality.

Try to understand and accept that your child is not your copy. He is unique and may have completely different traces of character. Respect his individuality.

  • When the parents’ behavior is ambiguous, or their explicit behavior model doesn’t correspond to its implicit reasons.

In this case you need to consult a psychologist to bring order in your feelings and thoughts. What is your sense of life? It is a common thing that the parents demand a certain model of behavior from their child that is approved by society and considered to be successful. If these social criteria would change they may change their demands. That is by all means a traumatizing situation for an unstable psychic of an adolescent.

Try to be a friend to your child and not to demand too much from him.

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